Newly wed? Engaged? Hoping he’ll pop the question? If marriage is anywhere near your radar, then you have probably been reading articles on how to have a successful marriage. After all, marriage is something we all want to be good at. With divorce rates starting to decrease in the millennial community, it seems that a happy marriage is very important to all of us. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share 5 tips to start your marriage off with a bang.
I’ve been married for seven months and I have to say; it hasn’t been easy. Everyone tells us that the first year of marriage is the hardest. For some reason, it rings true to most of us. However, I don’t know that the first year has been hard because of this brainwashing thought, or if it is because of something deeper within. No two marriages are the same. In this post, I’m going to share with you the juicy details about how married life has been treating me. Keep reading below for my 5 tips on starting your marriage off with a bang!
1. Remember the small moments that made you want to marry him in the first place
When you tie the knot, it can feel very overwhelming. How do I act now that I’m a wife? What sacrifices should I be making? What if marriage changes the way we were before? What if things get messy? And, god forbid, what if we get ‘Divorced’?! Yep, I’ve been down that scary list of questions. With so many new ideas and crazy questions, it’s easy to lose sight of the small moments that made you swoon over the marriage idea.
You know, like, when he makes you breakfast in bed just because. Or, when he supports you in your scariest life changes. When snuggles you and he’s not even a snuggler. Those little moments that made you know without the shadow of a doubt that you want to be in his life forever.
So, when things in the beginning of your marriage start to overwhelm you, go back to those little moments. Remember all of the reasons you knew you’d be perfect together for.
2. Recognize your mental space going into your marriage
I was going through a lot, mentally, when we tied the knot. I had just quit a great job that was no longer serving me. Mentally, I was a stressed out mess. Between planning a wedding (we had a very short engagement), quitting my job, wondering how I was going to find another job so quickly, feeling burnt out, I was a hot mess.
I went into my marriage overwhelmed. That being said, don’t do this! In hindsight, a longer engagement would have been a good idea so that I would’ve had time to decompress. But, I just couldn’t wait to marry the man of my dreams.
If your big day is coming up soon, be sure to take care of your mental space. If you can’t afford to push back the date, do what you need to do to take care of ‘YOU’! Book a massage. Book a therapy session. Talk to your partner. Make sure you are both on the same page.
My marriage started off with my self doubt jumping in our way. If I could do it over, I would go back and take better care of myself so that I could give my full attention to my new husband and not be working through major life changes.
3. Open up to your partner
Keeping an open line of communication with your future hubby is HUGE!!! Wedding planning is stressful. Getting married is a big change. Make sure you both are talking to each other about how you feel going forward in your engagement. Open up! Tell your fiance how you’re feeling and what you need. Be sure to let him know that he can do the same.
4. Do date nights
When my husband and I got engaged, we went on a lot of dates. Delicious dinner dates, hiking dates, movie nights, etc. This was such a fun time during our engagement. We bonded so much. Once we said ‘I Do’, we let life get in the way.
We didn’t go on as many dates (hello, we just paid for a wedding! $$$). We started working harder and spending less time together. My husband works as an RN on the night shift, so, our schedules were completely opposite and we didn’t see much of each other for a while.
Since then, we have made many date nights a top priority. It’s so important to be in each other’s company when you get married. Don’t let the day to day monotony get in the way. Pick a day that works best for both of you and make it a date night!
On a budget? Check out this list of free date ideas.
5. Support each other through everything
I am a very lucky woman. My hubby is super supportive! He supports all of my decisions, but, also offers advice when I’m making a poor decision. When I quit my job, he knew I really needed to. He made sure that I knew he was behind me one hundred percent.
Life can get crazy. It’s vital you both support each other through thick and thin. If you’re feeling like you aren’t getting enough support from your partner, let them know. After all, they’re not mind readers.
I hope these 5 tips to start your marriage off with a bang were helpful! If you have any questions or want to know more, comment below! I’d also love to know if your wedding day is coming up or if you are newly married.
Be sure to check out my 3 tips planning your dream wedding if you are about to tie the knot!